Yeah, I Remember Sex

We almost had sex. We were coming to the part where the last strip of skimpy garment comes sliding off. The foreplay had been tried and tested true, when a sudden wailing pierced my ears. The Boy hates me. He won’t let use get naked.

When an exceedingly great length of time has passed without getting laid, a guy sometimes tends to offer a more intimately charged experience for his woman. He is more willing to spend extra time simply lying and holding her. He will caress the smooth curvatures of her body with his muscular hands. Her lips act as an aphrodisiac as he willingly spends more quality time in their slick embrace, without his usual hard lip smacking-suck-your-face-off slobbering routine. Her breasts are as shiny chrome rims needing a polish, much more finesse and smooth handling rather than handfuls of torturous pinching and tugging. These things and so much more will a guy perform all in hopes of winning her clothes off. This is due to the prolonged period of time he has been deprived of his carnal desires. Of course there are the ravenous times when a loving touch prior plays no part in his game.

Really, I didn’t want to do it the last month of her pregnancy. I was rather revolted by the thought of it. I was somewhat in disgust with her body, although that wasn’t the main source of my hesitation. I would think about The Boy floating around all snuggled up in there. Of course I’m not so naïve to think I might actually damage or hit him during sex, but just knowing that he was that much closer to his exit, made me somewhat squeamish. Also, Lilly was leaking fluids from her breasts, which is a shocking discovery the first time around. Of course that means they are off limits to me. Guys naturally tend to gravitate towards the anatomy in which they do not possess themselves. So when the first time I reached around during a lovely late night spooning session and got a wet hand in return, I realized they no longer where mine to caress. This is a devastating part of pregnancy for guys. I admit this openly because all guys know it’s true, and all women should and need to know as well. So when Lilly asked me to have sex two weeks prior to the due date, I said no. She couldn’t believe it, but we both laid there and laughed about it as I explained my trepidation of not getting naked with her. While driving in my Tahoe one week prior to the due date she demanded that we “pull over right now and have sex, I want this dam baby to come out,” (as if that would really do the trick), I said no, again. What’s wrong with me? She was throwing herself at me and yet I refused. Well hardly throwing herself, rolling herself over or making an abrupt movement at that point in the pregnancy was an impossible feat. In fact the last time we had sex I had to roll her over on her side because she couldn’t do it herself due to her huge baby-carrying-belly. Oh, the realizations of the horrors of pregnancy never cease to amaze.

Recently, it had been over two months since we rolled around naked together. In that time we had experienced the full spectrum of emotions and a major life altering event. The time and emotional turmoil caused me to care more about what she needed rather than what I desired. Her body had sufficiently healed and the doctor gave her the go ahead. I had finally stopped thinking so much about how her body was torn apart and altered enough to get in the mood also. She had put The Boy down in the basinet to sleep. He was finally sleeping. We thought there was ample time to frolic between the sheets. We both were longing for sex! We were so close, yet so far. Do you know what it’s like when balls ache from nearly serving their intended purpose only to be let down? The above scenario was playing out before us, with us, to us. Then The Boy began wailing and hollering. His cries of discomfort pierced through the room with torrents of desperation and a plea for parental supervision.

My boy hates us. He won’t let use get naked. Can I get someone to come over here and take care of The Boy for a while? Just long enough for us to officially consummate our new family. Répondez s'il vous plaît, as soon as possible!