The Mysterious Case Of The Colored Lego Cake, And The Green Diaper

          The Mysterious Case Of The Colored Lego Cake, And The Green Diaper

Dam doesn’t that look so scrumptious. Well, it was. It was flippin sweet. Really sweet. And bright. I used so much food coloring, well really it was called icing coloring, much thicker than food coloring, that I thought my skin was going to turn blue after eating a piece. But no, no, it wasn’t the skin that changed colors……

I ended up making two test cakes. The FIRST ONE, turned out great. But Lilly bagged on my cake, said it wasn’t fluffy enough. So I did a redo, and discovered a better recipe. And in the second version, I added enough coloring to match the legos. A whole shit load of it. And I ate it. I ate so much of that Dam Cake. I never want to see another cake again.


I clocked the time spent making these Dam Cakes, and it was 22 hours. Twenty-Two hours. That includes the test cakes I did. Friday I worked from 8:00am to 11:00pm, only stopping for an hour or so. Non stop, all day. I wanted to die. And I felt so sick from eating the Dam Cake and batter and frosting all day. I must have slowly eaten the equivalent of an entire large cake throughout the day. Not to mention the test cake I ate a bunch of a couple days earlier. But that night as I was finally constructing the cakes; cutting, frosting, and wrapping them in fondant, my boy kept running in to grab the pieces I had cut off the sides to shape them. He ate a whole lot of the blue one. Then a funny thing happened. The next day Lilly came to me concerned about his last stinky diaper. It was miraculously filled with green poop. And not just a little green. But an entire diaper filled with a deep green, so completely green it looked like someone poured green cool-aid in his diaper after he dropped a load. Green pooh. Curious indeed.

I knew immediately what it was. It was the cake! That Blue#5 in the icing coloring had altered the color of the contents of his diaper. Amazing. You may be wondering how I knew this. Why would I come to the conclusion that my precious cake had colored my precious sons poop, green? And the cake he ate was blue too. Well, because the last time I visited the old shed the day before, I got a nice green surprise too! OF course, I didn’t share that with anyone until now. But it was more than a coincidence that my poop was green just the day before my sons poop was green. What are the chances of that huh? Well, I will tell you. Not very bad chances at all, considering we were eating the same blue cake!


(be not deceived! Sure it's blue now, but you just wait...)

The culprit, Wiltons’ Royal Blue Icing Color. Yep, Blue#5. Just like the Blue#5 in that little dropper in the back of your spice cabinet. The same one you used on those cupcakes you made for Aunt Margaret’s 97th birthday.

You doubt my claims? You dare doubt the authenticity of the story of our Lego cake coloring our poop green? Okay then, well THIS GUY, a biochemist and self proclaimed expert on everything relating to poop, agrees with me. Here is his science behind the phenomenon. “The dye used in Purplesaurus Rex (cool-aid) is FDA Blue #5, and dye-lake red. Turns out that when metabolized in sufficient quantity, the blue dye combines with bile, and forms a brilliant green. The red, absorbing at a 595nm spectrum, is harmlessly eliminated.”

He goes on to do a blind test with Purplesaurus Rex cool-aid and his buddies. A fascinating read, you should check it out. The results were as follows:

•Subject 1: 250mL Purplesaurus Rex with 5750mL water:
Stool, firm and brown. Spectrophotometer reading: normal.
•Subject 12: 3000mL Purplesaurus Rex with 3000mL water:
Stool, firm(ish) and green(ish). Spec reading 550nm (definitely Green...just not GREEN)
•Subject 24: 6000mL Purplesaurus Rex with 0mL water:
Stool, Firm(ish) and Green, resplendent of original test subject (me). Spec reading, 535nm. Definition of GREEN confirmed.

Well, anyway, at the party on Saturday I told a couple friends what had happened to Mr Pant’s diaper, and they thought it was hilarious. Of course I told them not to tell anyone else until after they ate the cake. But that didn’t last. Before I knew it all thirty people were talking about how excited they were that their poop was going to be green the next day. Really, I was hoping to surprise them all. Maybe have some frantic phone calls asking me what I put in the food, or an urgent call or two to the ER the next day. Anything was bound to happen. But I did get a couple calls the next day which were related to green bathroom breaks. Awesome.



What else could I tell you about Mr Pant’s birthday that could top that? Nothing really. Sorry my boys 2nd birthday post was tainted by green poop though. Oh I made Lilly a 320 page/photo book of Mr Pants photos from the past year. 320 full size 11x20 photos. Sweet. Still, the blue to green cake, really really tops the cake.