Volunteer Babysitter

          Volunteer Babysitter

She volunteered to babysit for us. My wife’s bosses daughter, a twenty something college graduate living back at home with her parental units. Volunteered.

So far, the only babysitters we have are the grandparents, as they both live nearby. To my…I mean her…I mean our…I mean someone’s gotta be dismayed about that I’m sure. But they do occasionally babysit. Well, my parents are both workaholics, so it’s far and few in between, and her mom is a socialaholic, sooooooo…



But this chick volunteered one day after I brought the kids into the wife’s office for a visit. My wife is teaching her how to be an underwriter. Showing her the ropes. Which is funny, because she will be my wife’s boss one day. So I could say that my wife’s future boss volunteered to watch our two kids.

So sure, why not. Why the hell not.



Now I’m asking myself, why. And why did she ask to watch them again? In fact, she wants to watch them whenever we need her to. Just because. But she’s sort of homely looking. So perhaps she is betting on not being able to have kids any time soon. So she just wants to be around them as much as she can. Who knows? Who really knows these things.

But after our free night out, we went to go pickup the kids at her house. And my boy wouldn’t get up off the couch. He was having fun though. But I knew something was wrong with him. So I reached my hand under his butt, and it was soaked to the bone. Rather, it was soaked to the couch. Right on through the couch too.

Son of a bitch. I mean bitch.



The entire four hours we were gone, she did not once change his diaper. By the time I got there, his dipe was overflowing to the point that it soaked his butt and soaked the couch he was sitting on. Sorry, but there is no way the boy could have held all that in and released it all at once, overflowing his diaper in an instant. That was an accumulation of several leaks. The boy took many, many leeks to get fully dunked as he was.

Who babysits an infant and a baby for four hours, without checking their diapers once? Who! Oh wait, my wifes future boss does. Shit. I can’t really yell at her for that as I would to anyone else. For the sake of the endless credit card in my pocket that is linked to my wife’s bank account which receives checks with our new babysitters mothers signature on it, I am forced to hold my tongue. Son of a bitch.



But should I give her another chance? She genuinely wants to watch our kids, for free. I don’t want her to, if just for the sake of my boys dry pants, but dang, a volunteer college graduate babysitter? That only comes around once in an infant’s life time.