BHP

          BHP

"Lilly......yo Lilly. Lilly," I loudly whispered in our pitch black room as I leaned over the bed, stairing into her sleepy eyes.

"Huh, yeah, what?" She sleepily replied.

"....big, hard......poop." I explained to her as I lay the groaning boy down into her comforting arms below the blanky.

"Huh?"

"He passed a big hard poop that made him bleed. And his tummy hurts from being bloated."

Big hard poop, is not really what I had envisioned for us as I gave Lilly my best lines in hopes of getting that first kiss. Can you believe I told her that kissing cures hickups? But she fell for it. Of course, after we both laughed at my expense. But a "Hey Lilly, how bout a big hard poop", now that would have scared her off. Especially because at twenty, she was a devout no child of mine will enter this world, believer. Yeah right. Ten years later and we are all about big hard poops, with tummy aches and late night runs to the store for prune juice, and doses of benadryl for sleep. She also never thought I would be making mixed drinks of prune and apple juice, as it used to be JD and coke. But thats what the boy got tonight, and three hours later, bingo!

(On a side not, don't feed your toddler cashews. Well, unless you puree them first.)