Poopy Squancher

Poopy Squancher



Lately everything is a Poopy Squancher, or related to it. Wether it's simply a Squanch, (sounds like Sasquatch), or a Poop, or a Scooper. It's always one of those variations. before that, it was some other word or phrase that his OCD infested infant mind was stuck on.

Our friend got each one of Mr Pants' saying stuck in his head just like I did. The difference though, is that he will come over and say those things to my boy, but my boy has allready moved on from one to the other saying all ready. Sorry bro, but an 'Er' after every word is allready outdated, he's saying 'Day' after everything now. So then my friend gets hooked on Day. he says it at home, at his work, and in his sleep. Just as I do. Excpet of course, I don't work. Hah. Okay, well changing diapers doesn't come free though. so on and on this goes, Mr pants being hooked to a new word or phrase, and we all get hooked on it just as he does. Perhaps we have remnants of our former infant minds, buried in our unconscious Shadow, just waiting to come out and cause mischieve.

It's my fault. But I don't feel bad. He would have gotten hooked on one saying or another anyway. It all started with me having to change stinky diapers every day. Just as any at home parent experiences. Being all alone, deep in that shit, recalled my own childhood poop experiences. Particularly the one where I always had to poop the scoop. Or rather, scoop the poop, but pooping the scoop was just funner to say, as if making a joke about it made it more tolerable as a young kid.

My dad is a Vet, former authentic cowboy, and farm boy, so we always had a minimum of four dogs, not to mention the chickens, ducks, geese, turtles, hundreds of birds, rabbits, mice, rats, chinchillas, fish, and our very own fresh backyard grown eggs everyday. (yes we ate the chickens and geese. and yes I had named them all, mine was Pebbles, and his wings were tough and dark.) Poop, was all consuming. Our backyard looked like a giant heep of cow dung that you see off the side of the road on your family vacations as you pass cow pastures. You just can't have hundreds of animals in your small LA suburb backyard, without having an endless supply of guano lying around every turn.

So back to the scopping of the poop. Well, changing diapers everyday inevitably reminded me of my former childhood days scopping the dog poop in the backyard. So I started saying it around the boy. Such as, "Oh, gotta poop the scoop." Which turned into these variations, "You got poopy scoopies," or, "Scoopy Poop time," Poooppoooppy scooooppies!, "Hey kid, you got scoopy pants, go change them now damnit."

Of course, he picked up on it immediately, particularly because he knows the word poop. And it rhymes. So he started blurting out Poopy Scoopies all the time. Which innevitabely turned into other variations of it, such as it did with me. But he took it in his own direction. His final pronunciation, is the one I will share with you today in the short video below. Poopy Squancher. That's what he got stuck on. It's Squanch, or Squancher, or Poopy Squancher. No no, its more like, POOOOPPY SQUANCHER!! All Kinison style. But he doesn't just save it for when his diaper is stinky. It's all the time. Everything is a Squancher or a derivitive thereof. When he gets embarresed, he tucks his hands around his face and very softly whispers, squancher. When he is excited he screams it at the top of his little lungs, POOPY SQUANCHER. When he is eating ice cream, he says Yummy Squancher. He's relentless. And I can't help but say it more than he does. And now my friend is saying it too. Lilly has yet to catch on to our little fun, but we'll bring her around, she'll come around yet. You just watch. After all, if it's Poopy, it's Poopy Squancher.

But I still prefer Poopy Scoops. And of course he corrects me and says, "No, it's Poopy Squancher.' Sure buddy, whatever you say.