He Called Me A What?

He Called Me A What?



"That's a pyramid." I pointed out to the boy as we watched the opening scene to Despicable Me. As we do nearly every day.

"'re ahh ack."

"Huh?"

"Uer ahhn cack?" He repeated, while trying to keep his eys on the movie, but still tilting his head my way while affording me a slight glance.

That last one got my attention, as I staired at him as if asking to repeat what he said in a more coherent form of the phrase. But I felt certain I had understood but wanted clarification. And yes, it was just as I thought.



"You're on crack." He said then went back to Despicable.

Yep, that's what our 3yo just told me. And with conviction, as if it is an irrefutable fact. Simply put, I am a crack head. No ands, ifs, or buts about it. Dang dude, I wouldn't expect to hear that sort of thing out of him untill he was at least, I don't know, 4 or 4.5.

I blame all the alcoholics we hang out with down the street for that little gem. What, you think I go around the house tellimg my kids their on crack? Well, sometimes I feel they may be, but I wouldn't tell them that. Where else would he have heard it? My parents house? Yeah, I can see it now, my mom lecturing me about why I need to dedicate my life to her latest alternative medicine treatments, and my dad bitching about why people suck and how his dogs are smarter and more human than everyone, while at the same time throwing out sayings like 'you're a crack head'. Our alcoholic play group, yep. They did it damnit. Yes, nearly every parent in our neighboorhood is an alchy. You should hear some of the things that slip from their intoxicated mouths while the kids are all frollicking around. Small kids and alcohal don't really go together. Someone needs to tell tham that.